Neural Prediction Engine
Our AI analyzes opponent micro-expressions, breathing patterns, and historical tendency data to predict their next throw with 73% accuracy.
Banned from 47 RPS Tournaments
Never lose at Rock Paper Scissors again.
RoshamBot uses advanced neural networks trained on 2 billion matches to predict your opponent's next move. Turn the world's most random game into a calculated victory. Enterprise-ready. Ethically questionable.
Features
Weaponize a children's game.
Why leave important decisions to chance when you can use military-grade predictive algorithms? RoshamBot gives you the edge in every handshake showdown.
Real-Time Hand Tracking
Computer vision detects subtle finger twitches and wrist angles in the 0.3 seconds before your opponent commits to their choice.
Opponent Profiling
Build detailed psychological profiles of frequent opponents. Know their patterns before they do. Never lose to the same person twice.
Instant Decision Support
Haptic feedback via smart watch tells you exactly what to throw. Subtle vibration patterns: 1 pulse = rock, 2 = paper, 3 = scissors.
How It Works
From random to rigged in 3 steps.
Our platform integrates seamlessly with your natural RPS workflow. No one will suspect a thing.
Activate RoshamBot
Open the app before your match. Our AI begins analyzing ambient audio and available visual data about your opponent.
Receive Your Prediction
In the 0.3 seconds between "shoot" and throw, RoshamBot vibrates the optimal counter-move to your connected wearable.
Claim Victory
Execute the recommended throw. Collect your winnings. Feign surprise. Repeat until banned from the friend group.
Testimonials
Morally flexible users love us.
Real results from real people who no longer have real friends.
"I've won 47 straight games at the office. My coworkers have stopped inviting me to happy hour. Worth it."
Marcus W.
Former Office Fun Guy
"My 8-year-old nephew stopped speaking to me at Thanksgiving. But I also haven't done a single dish since installing RoshamBot."
Jennifer K.
Dish-Avoidance Specialist
"The World RPS Society banned me for life. My attorney is arguing this violates my right to augmented decision-making."
Dave R.
Competitive RPS Exile
Pricing
What's victory worth to you?
Choose the plan that matches your competitive ethics. All plans include our core prediction engine.
Casual Cheater
$9/mo
- Basic prediction algorithm
- 50 matches/month
- Manual input mode
- Email support
Serious Competitor
$49/mo
- Neural prediction engine
- Unlimited matches
- Smartwatch integration
- Opponent profiling (10 people)
- Priority support
Tournament Destroyer
$199/mo
- Everything in Serious
- Real-time video analysis
- Unlimited opponent profiles
- Disguised wearable hardware
- Legal defense fund contribution
Start Winning Today
Ready to never lose again?
Join thousands of users who've sacrificed friendships for a 73% win rate. First 7 days free. No credit card required. Plausible deniability included.